Another paper from nursing school-Death and Dying

As nurses, we are forced to deal with some of the most intimidating and frightening topics in our society today. We deal with illness and death, letting go in an age where holding on is revered and overcoming death is strived for. In today’s technological age, we discover new treatments that can prolong life, and with this, a sense of immortality is assumed. It is a painful truth to realize, but death is a consequence of life. We as nurses must be educators and advocates for the family and assist them and the patient through their difficult times.

Although we all bring our personal experiences to our profession, we must try to set these aside, and give all options and information available to us, without bias or preference. These experiences also shape how we ourselves deal with these difficult issues, which can also shape the way in which we care for the family.

When I was seventeen years old, my grandfather died from ALS. He had had it for seven years, and when I got the phone call with the news, I cried…with relief. He had suffered for so long, watching his muscles waste away to stone, scared and alone to deal with his reality. Although he was surrounded by people who loved him, we were not equipped to offer him accurate information about his illness and were not prepared to let him go.

Family members tend to be selfish, having difficulty looking past their own needs to realize or understand the needs of their loved one. This quality is not necessarily negative, but can change the circumstances in which the patient reacts to the illness. These needs may differ, which can cause a great deal of stress on the individuals of the family, the patient and the family as a whole. This can tend to cause cracks in the unit, causing arguments and lack of communication. We as nurses must keep the focus on the patient’s needs and how those needs relate to the family. We must encourage an environment of open and honest communication within the family as well as expressing needs with the nurse. Offering unconditional support and education to both the family and patient is of utmost importance to the nurse.

The greatest strength a family has is their love and the bonds they share with each other. This love can sometimes be overlooked or clouded when faced with difficult times. We, as nurses, must help to remind families of this love and keep this theme in high regard. Families also get obscured by the difficult times they are currently faced with and forget the good times that have occurred in the past. We must encourage thoughts and memories of past experiences. These may be helpful and sometimes vital to the care of the patient and decisions made by the family.

I believe that we all come from a place of experience, being members of families. I feel we must allow people to leave this life with peace and without fear. I believe that our society fears death and therefore tries to prevent it at all costs. This trickles down to the familial level, causing desperate acts and great stress. If we, as nurses can help people realize illness and death are not failures, but inevitable events which occur over a lifetime, we can help people let go. I think this is the pinnacle priority of our job as nurses…allowing families to let go. To let go of their guilt, their feelings of failure, their fear and of their loved one.

This is a difficult task for nurses as human beings. Nurses also exhibit the qualities mentioned previously, so it is challenging to step outside those feelings and advocate for the patient and their families in the ways I have mentioned. We must explore our thoughts and feelings about these topics and come to an understanding and serenity with how we feel. This will make all the difference in how we can care for our families and patients. We are fortunate to be given the opportunity to explore these feelings outside the acuteness of grief and come to terms with the difficulty without experiencing it on such an emotional level.

Nurses play a very important role as both teacher and advocate in the family of an ill or dying person. We must take this role seriously and offer up all possible support, options and alternatives. This role makes a huge difference in the quality of care we provide. We must remind the family of their love for one another, encourage memory retrieval and open communication. We must set aside our preferences and bias to encourage the family to explore their preference and give them power within these difficult decisions. We are outsiders being asked to come within a family as both an authority figure and a supporter.

-Why should we be afraid of the possibility that we might not exist after death, given that non-existence before birth does not bother us

-Anonymous

-People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar

-Thich Nhat Hanh